The Only People Who Matter on Your Wedding Day
The Only People Who Matter on Your Wedding Day
“Why the Only People Who Matter on Your Wedding Day Are the Ones Who’d Bail You Out of Jail”
By Adam Hebert, Chief Trouble-Maker & Editor-at-Large, Engaged AF Magazine
Here’s a universal truth they never print in those cutesy wedding planners: If you wouldn’t call someone to bail your ass out of jail at 2 a.m., why the hell are you dropping $100+ on their chicken dinner?
Your wedding day isn’t about impressing the world or hosting every rando you’ve ever met. It’s about your ride-or-dies—the people who’d hide the body, not the ones who’d rat you out.
Why Are You Feeding Your Dentist’s Dog Walker?
Seriously, let’s stop this madness. Your parents want to invite their bowling league, your cousin wants a plus-one for her latest Tinder mistake, and suddenly your guest list looks like the credits of a Marvel movie.
If you’re shelling out your hard-earned cash on catering, booze, and enough desserts to spike the collective blood sugar of a small town, it better be for people who would drive you home at 3 a.m.—not the guy who once liked your LinkedIn post.
Who Gets a Seat at Your Table?
Here’s the litmus test:
If you were handcuffed in Vegas wearing nothing but a veil and a pair of flip-flops, who would you trust to answer the phone and show up with bail money and snacks? That’s your guest list.
- Your ride-or-die friends (the ones who’ve seen you ugly cry and still show up)
- Family who roots for you (not just wants an open bar)
- The people who make you belly laugh so hard you nearly pass out
Everybody else? They can see your photos on Instagram.
The Power of the No-Bullshit Guest List
Having fewer guests isn’t just about saving money (although, fuck yes, it helps). It’s about giving yourself permission to create the wedding you’ll actually love.
No need to play nice for “networking” or old obligations. Nobody ever said, “Damn, I wish I’d invited more randoms who don’t even know my last name.”
Permission to Downsize: Granted
If anyone gives you shit about not making the cut, remember:
- You’re not an all-you-can-eat buffet.
- You’re not obligated to invite your coworker’s roommate’s boyfriend’s ex.
- And you’re definitely not apologizing for wanting a damn good time.
For more savage, unfiltered advice on building the guest list of your dreams (and surviving the fallout), check out Engaged AF Magazine and peep the most badass real weddings at Epoch Moment.
“Why the Only People Who Matter on Your Wedding Day Are the Ones Who’d Bail You Out of Jail”
By Adam Hebert, Chief Trouble-Maker & Editor-at-Large, Engaged AF Magazine
Here’s a universal truth they never print in those cutesy wedding planners: If you wouldn’t call someone to bail your ass out of jail at 2 a.m., why the hell are you dropping $100+ on their chicken dinner?
Your wedding day isn’t about impressing the world or hosting every rando you’ve ever met. It’s about your ride-or-dies—the people who’d hide the body, not the ones who’d rat you out.
Why Are You Feeding Your Dentist’s Dog Walker?
Seriously, let’s stop this madness. Your parents want to invite their bowling league, your cousin wants a plus-one for her latest Tinder mistake, and suddenly your guest list looks like the credits of a Marvel movie.
If you’re shelling out your hard-earned cash on catering, booze, and enough desserts to spike the collective blood sugar of a small town, it better be for people who would drive you home at 3 a.m.—not the guy who once liked your LinkedIn post.
Who Gets a Seat at Your Table?
Here’s the litmus test:
If you were handcuffed in Vegas wearing nothing but a veil and a pair of flip-flops, who would you trust to answer the phone and show up with bail money and snacks? That’s your guest list.
- Your ride-or-die friends (the ones who’ve seen you ugly cry and still show up)
- Family who roots for you (not just wants an open bar)
- The people who make you belly laugh so hard you nearly pass out
Everybody else? They can see your photos on Instagram.
The Power of the No-Bullshit Guest List
Having fewer guests isn’t just about saving money (although, fuck yes, it helps). It’s about giving yourself permission to create the wedding you’ll actually love.
No need to play nice for “networking” or old obligations. Nobody ever said, “Damn, I wish I’d invited more randoms who don’t even know my last name.”
Permission to Downsize: Granted
If anyone gives you shit about not making the cut, remember:
- You’re not an all-you-can-eat buffet.
- You’re not obligated to invite your coworker’s roommate’s boyfriend’s ex.
- And you’re definitely not apologizing for wanting a damn good time.
For more savage, unfiltered advice on building the guest list of your dreams (and surviving the fallout), check out Engaged AF Magazine and peep the most badass real weddings at Epoch Moment.
